una buona annata: I'm getting Malta for Christmas

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

I'm getting Malta for Christmas

Sometimes, all it takes is getting out of Italy.

As any expat knows, no matter how much you love (or hate) your new locale, having a break from all the routines and challenges can reignite your appreciation for or tolerance of the place you're currently calling "home". With this year of study, I've realized that I'm not actually living in Italy; it's more that I'm a tourist for a year. This creates a subtle distance in most encounters, because at the back of my mind is always the thought that I'll be going home at the end of this experience . . . or at least to a new location if I'm lucky enough. When the days seem long, and every conversation fraught with frustration over language errors and lack of comprehension, the truth that I don't really belong here is always silently present.

But despite everything, this time in Italy is a gift. Some days the packaging is scuffed or torn, or the actual present inside doesn't match my over-wrought expectations. Regardless, it is something beyond what I actually need or deserve, and the sweet surprise and wonder of it all can catch me off-guard. Whenever I feel the weight of exhaustion, heartbreak, restlessness or worry, sometimes all that's required is some time away. Whether that's actually leaving the country, or just a pho feast with good friends, I always return refreshed and grateful.

This Christmas, I was given the gift of time with my parents . . . in Malta.